Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
