you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The dick lei will go down in squad history
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
