i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
