It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
