Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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