Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
