I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
