Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
