And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
