Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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