I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
