If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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