they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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