Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There r osticjed everywhere
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
