I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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