legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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