just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
