Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
