Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
