I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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