hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
