ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
