It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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