just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
