that's an acceptable place to lick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize