How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
