i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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