He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
