some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
