Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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