If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
