Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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