you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
