I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize