it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
