Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
