Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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