I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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