I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
