i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
