i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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