he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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