i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
