So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
