I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We need a shit load of segways right now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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