Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
