You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
