A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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