East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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