I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize