Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
