Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
