ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We left the knife in your bed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
