marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im at strip club and am horny
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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