And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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