Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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